Birthday dinners are usually filled with food and fun, but splitting the bill at the end of the night often turns into an awkward situation. Who should pay for what? Why am I paying for that? Did that person put enough in?
Based on my experiences over the years, you could argue that splitting the bill may actually be harder than rocket science, because I bet rocket scientists struggle to split bills too. Here are some of the most common solutions I’ve come across in my years of birthday dinner experience:
Everyone splits the bill and chips in to cover the cost of the birthday guy/girl. This is my favorite solution, because I think it makes the most sense. The birthday person definitely shouldn’t have to pay for their own birthday dinner, so everyone else should chip in for it. Of course, the tricky part is figuring out if everybody is chipping in enough, and this is where things can get ugly.
The birthday girl/guy has a significant other who covers their meal, and everyone else splits the rest of the bill. Things get better if the birthday girl/guy has a sugar dumpling, cupcake, or honey bunny to pay for their meal. This simplifies things, because everyone else can just focus on covering the rest of the bill. Then it’s just like splitting the bill for a regular group dinner with friends.
The birthday girl/guy pays for everybody. I still don’t understand this one, but maybe it’s because I’m young. Even so, I’ve had a couple of friends who have tried to pull this one off, and it ended awkwardly both times. In one case, we didn’t let our friend pay for everybody, and he got upset. In the other case, the guest of honor went to the “bathroom” in the middle of the meal and gave his credit card to the waiter, so he got away with it. This made the rest of us upset.
Everyone pays for his or her own meal, including the birthday guy/girl. From a practical standpoint, this solution is the fairest of them all, and that’s why I think it’s the stupidest solution for a birthday dinner. Why should the birthday girl/guy pay for their own dinner? You wouldn’t expect the guest of honor to buy their own birthday cake, would you?
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I like the first option – everyone pays for their own and chips in to cover the birthday girl/guy. They, in turn, can reciprocate by sharing a bit of their dessert. My other dillemma is should I give a gift when I’m invited to a dinner like this by a casual friend?
I agree with Sallie’s Niece that everyone should pay for their own meal and then split the cost of the meal for the birthday girl/guy. It’s the only fair solution in my book.
If the dinner is something put together by the birthday girl/guy then I might bring a nice gift instead of paying for their meal (though I will chip in if others still want to pick up the tab). In this situation it seems they don’t care for the cost of their meal, they just want to be around friends and family. You can’t put a price on that.
Wow. What a great topic that happens to anyone who has friends! I like the first option where everyone splits the bill and covers the birthday party person, however, I have been out a few times where people totally abuse this setup and order drink after drink after drink after drink! One person may have consumed $100 worth of service while everyone else splits the entire bill.
So I really think that every pays for whatever they ate/drink and then throws in some extra for the birthday party person. it makes sense, you pay for whatever you bought. Great practical post b/c it happens all the time!
The bill comes out and there is always someone yelling “But I only got an appetizer!!!” Haha . Be easy.
For me, it makes me angry when the birthday guy/girl organizes his/her own birthday bash, then expects people to pay for him/her. He/she usually picks a place nicer than normal. If I had wanted to take him/her out for a meal, I would have invited him/her myself.
Maybe I’m being selfish, but if you’re HOSTING something, you’re expected to cover the costs (or at least your own costs).
I agree with the consensus that the first strategy really is the way to go — split the check, cover the guest. Figuring out how to split is the hard part; personally, I generally think the easiest way is to ask anyone that spent *significantly* more to chip in extra (like the $100 tab in Doctor S’s example) and then just split it down the middle… otherwise splitting gets too difficult. But yeah, the birthday person’s dinner should be on the group (especially if its a big group).