My parents never talked to me about money. My parents have no idea that I blog about money. The topic of money rarely came up when I was a kid. In fact, I can’t remember a single time that money came up over the dinner table.
Photo by waɪ.ti
Now that I’m financially independent, nothing has changed. We still don’t talk about money. The few times that it has come up in conversations, the topic quickly changes to something else.
It’s not much different with my friends. The topic comes up occasionally, but we usually move on to something else pretty quickly. We also don’t dive too deep into the details.
On the other hand, my brother-in-law’s family discusses money all the time. This past Christmas I witnessed their family discussing their finances, and they literally went around and shared how much each of them have saved and how much they owe.
While some of the members are in a family business together, I still found the idea of sharing all of the details a little strange. However, I’m not sure if it’s just because of how I was raised, or if it really is strange. I know I’m not used to sharing that much information about my money with others.
How open are you about your money when talking to friends and family? Did your parents ever talk to you about money while growing up?
- Do You Tell Your Parents the Details of Your Finances?
- Should You Share Financial Information with Family?
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My parents never got into it that much. Kind of a “not for you to worry about” sort of thing. When I left college I struggled a bit because I had to learn a few money lessons on my own the hard way.
I’m sure I’ll beat my kids down with money talk though. I think it is all in “how” you discuss it….only talk about your own situation and do it in a humble/positive way.
Thanks for sharing my post on the subject as well.
My parents didn’t really talk to me about money until I graduated from college. My dad has recently gotten into finance a little more (he recently bought an investment property), so when I have question I’ll talk to him. He’s the only person I know who will be genuinely excited that I save $1000 this month, for example.
My parents acted like their personal finances were a state secret, and still do. I don’t feel that this was healthy at all, because I went off to college with no real concept of how much “real-world” things cost or how to budget or how to manage money at all. Now that I am preparing to live on a graduate school fellowship, a substantial reduction in my household income, I’ve had some pretty frank discussions with my 14-year-old daughter about how much money will be coming in and how much our various expenses will be. This has actually turned her into my partner in figuring out how to spend less money and get along on less, rather than an adversarial and selfish teenager with an endless list of demands and little understanding of why they can’t be met. Well, most of the time anyway. I think that she will likely be more prepared to manage money and budget than I was, because she’s involved in the process already with me. I think that parents really do themselves and their children both a disservice when they are secretive about financial matters.
My parents have always been fairly open with me about money, although specific numbers didn’t come into play until I was in my late teens. As I entered college, the dialogue became a lot stronger, because my mother had me do all of my own financial aid paperwork. Now, my family knows about my blog, and so they tend to come to me when they want to talk about money stuff. Not all of them, of course, but I think the ones who do appreciate talking to someone who knows the concepts and won’t get confused or have to stop and ask what something is!
I think it’s important that Parents and children discuss finances throughout life, even through retirement.
My parents gave me advice when I asked for it, but rarely exposed their financial situation…until 2 years ago when my Dad revealed the financial trouble his business was in (too highly leveraged compounded by some poor accounting practices). At that point, I had been independent for nearly a decade and had begun studies for my MBA (with a concentration in Finance). The revelation came as a shock since my Dad had been the first to walk me through the financial situation analysis and decision making. Until then, he was my example of a wonderful business man.
A year later, my parents decided to put their house on the market to inject some much-needed capital into the business. Through this process, they were forced to share their financial situation with our entire family (including extended) and friends.
This was around the time that She and I were preparing to be engaged, and presented the opportunity to discuss finances with my (now) in-laws. While the conversations were never too detailed, the door is now open. While we don’t agree on everything, they trust I am doing what’s best for She and I, and that makes a huge difference.