Broke Grad Student » humor

Best White Elephant Gift Ever

Broke Grad — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 13:00:30 +0000

One of the things I look forward to every year during the holidays is the white elephant gift exchange. Anyone who has participated in one knows that picking a good white elephant gift is half of the challenge. If the gift is too nice, then it gets stolen and frozen right away. If the gift is too bad, it never gets stolen and forces the unlucky recipient to sit and watch while every one else has fun.

So what makes a good white elephant gift?

It has to be impractical. A reaction like, “Hey, a stapler! I’ve actually been meaning to get a new one.” does not make for an entertaining white elephant gift exchange. A white elephant gift should be something that you would never use in everyday life.

It has to be weird. Thinking outside of the box is the key to a good white elephant gift. If the first reaction when the person opens your gift is, “What the ****???”, then you’ve succeeded. On the other hand, make sure your gift isn’t so weird that it becomes offensive. Of course, this depends entirely on how easily your friends, family, and/or coworkers are offended.

It has to be funny. Chances are if your gift meets the previous two criteria, then it meets this criterion too. The best way to know is pretty simple. Did you laugh when you first saw this gift?

This past year I ended up with one of the best white elephant gifts I’ve ever seen. I’m now the proud owner of the not quite New York Times best seller, Crafting with Cat Hair: Cute Handicrafts to Make with Your Cat.

You’re probably thinking, “What the ****???”, and the answer is, “Yes, it’s for real.” This book actually shows you how to make stuff out of your own cat’s hair.

Oh, and if you’re not a cat person, don’t worry. There’s always the other modern day classic, Knitting With Dog Hair: Better A Sweater From A Dog You Know and Love Than From A Sheep You’ll Never Meet.

What’s the best white elephant gift you’ve ever given or received?

Interest In Economic News Over Time

Broke Grad — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 12:30:18 +0000

I couldn’t think of any words to write, so I made a picture instead. Here’s a graph of my interest in economic news over the past six months.

The Best Frugal Christmas Gift Ever

Broke Grad — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:00:09 +0000

If you don’t have a lot of money to spend on Christmas gifts this year, don’t worry. The best gifts aren’t always the most expensive ones, and coming up with an awesome frugal gift is easier than you think. Here’s a simple recipe for what I like to call, “The Best Frugal Christmas Gift Ever.”

INGREDIENTS

1 tsp edibility
2 tbsp deliciousness
1 dash tender lovin’ care (optional)

DIRECTIONS

Preheat mind to think of something that is both edible and delicious.
In a medium bowl, stir together edibility and deliciousness. Add dash of tender lovin’ care if desired.
Bake for 10 minutes or until lightly browned around the edges. Remove and place on wire racks to cool.
Wrap in festive packaging and give to friends and family.

If you follow the recipe carefully, you should end up with something like this. (Results vary depending on how much tender lovin’ care you put into it.)

Photo by EverySpoon

That’s right. Giving the best frugal Christmas gift ever is as simple as baking cookies that are edible and delicious. Everybody (girls, guys, grandparents, grandkids, annoying aunts, creepy uncles, etc.) loves cookies. And they’re cheap to make.

Also, if you can’t bake, please don’t try. No matter how much tender lovin’ care you add to the recipe, it’ll be easier on you and your loved ones’ taste buds to just buy something edible and delicious. It’s hard to go wrong with a tub of Garrett’s Popcorn. However, it is definitely still possible to go wrong…

Photo by turtlemom4bacon

This article is part of the College Money Network’s Frugal Holiday Ideas series. For more great frugal holiday ideas, check out these other articles.

Writer’s Block

Broke Grad — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 11:00:25 +0000

I thought I had gotten rid of it for good, but I was mistaken. Sometime during the past week, I rediscovered my writer’s block. It must have been hiding under the bed. Feel free to borrow it if you’d like. In fact, you can keep it if you want.

8 Sites To Help Every College Student Procrastinate

Broke Grad — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:00:29 +0000

Did you know that 10 out of 10 college students procrastinate? I just made that up, but I think it’s pretty accurate. Well, except for that one guy who does his homework assignments ahead of schedule, but he doesn’t count.

No matter how driven you are, everybody needs a break every once in awhile. Some of us just like to take a little more time than others. Here are 8 sites that have been helping college students turn 15 minute breaks into hour-long detours from productivity (conveniently organized by stereotype).

The Geek

FAIL Blog is geek heaven. Think Jay Leno’s Headlines, but uncensored. People submit photos and videos of “fail” moments, and the best ones get posted on the blog. Throw in some witty headlines, and this site will have the geek in you laughing for weeks.

The Aspiring Yuppie

Stuff White People Like is exactly what it says it is — an exhaustive list of stuff white people like with tongue-in-cheek explanations of why white people like that stuff. More specifically, it focuses on left-leaning, city-dwelling white folk — a.k.a. people who like things like:

The Quiet One

PostSecret is one of the coolest ongoing community art projects, and it started with a simple idea. People mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard. Funny, scary, sad, and thought-provoking are only a few of the words that describe what you’ll find there. You’re almost guaranteed to come across at least one confession that you can relate to, and the feeling is strangely therapeutic.

The Frat Boy

CollegeHumor was a staple of my freshman year of college. Living in a suite with 7 other guys, I can’t even remember how many times we showed each other stuff that we found here. The site has grown a lot since then, but it has still remained true to its roots with events like Governing Bodies 2008, where people are encouraged to write who they’re voting for somewhere on their body, take a photo, and send it in.

For those of you who are a fan of more family-oriented entertainment, here’s something for your viewing pleasure.

The Sorority Girl

Perez Hilton is the most popular celebrity gossip blog around. Filled with Hollywood gossip and celebrity rumors, this site is a procrastinator’s dream come true. I’m not even going to pretend that I keep up with or care about any of this stuff, but I know there are plenty of you who do. Who needs tabloids and magazines anymore when you can get all of this info for free online?

The Future Fashionista

The Sartorialist covers street style like no other. This blog is filled great photos of everyday people and their unique styles. Aspiring fashion designers should find plenty of inspiration here.

The Dorm Potato

YouTube has made it possible for college students to see everything ever imaginable without even having to leave their own dorm rooms. From discovering what happens when you mix Diet Coke and Mentos to watching a live concert recorded from somebody’s cell phone, you can find practically everything here — even a rap about CERN’s Large Hadron Collider.

The Professional Procrastinator

Facebook makes it easier than ever for college students to procrastinate these days. What do you get when a site allows you to connect with practically every person you’ve befriended since you were born? A social networking site that’s as addictive as crack. Keep in touch with friends, keep an eye on enemies, and keep on the lookout for embarrassingly funny photos of your friends. These are just a few of the reasons you’ll find every serious procrastinator on Facebook.

Photo by Scott Beale / Laughing Squid